Expectation Vs. Reality

     Expectation Vs. Reality is a common title for videos and or pictures that display what usually happens when people have high expectations. As hilarious as these tend to be, I've become very aware of how true they are, but in a flip-sided way.
     Last night and into this morning, I spent eight hours (Not including the three hours of sleep I managed to get) with my cheer-leading squad. We had a sleepover at the high school so that we could make all of the run through signs for the football team and show our new coach some of the cheers we had done last year. It honestly sounds like an extremely normal night to me as I am writing this down, but I can't forget the thoughts and feelings that had run around in my head prior to the event.
    I was nervous going into this. I don't have any close friends on the team, and because I have this delusional fear that people find me annoying and don't like me, I was afraid I was going to be a bother to everyone and just end up alone. That was my expectation.
     In fact, this is an expectation I have a lot of the time. I am constantly distancing myself from people because I am afraid they are getting annoyed by me. Mind you, I have never actually been told that I am annoying by anyone other than my brother. So why do I have this fear? I think a part of me feels like everyone is saying that about me behind my back. I mean, let's be honest, most girl fighting is done behind backs and with tongues like swords.
     But the thing is, as far as I know, nobody has a problem with me. Yet I am constantly taking myself out of things hoping to avoid whatever backlash I am expecting.
     Last night was kind of an eyeopener for me. I had fun. Not the kind of fun that you kind of enjoyed but would never do it again, but rather the kind of fun that makes you want to experience that night again. Nobody was bothered by me, in fact I was invited to do things, which sounds simple enough but for someone who was expecting to be spending the night utterly alone it was a big deal.
     It made me start thinking about expectations and how, just like high expectations, low expectations can be utterly wrong as well. I don't think I am the only one with this mindset, rather I'm sure tons of people make themselves loners to avoid whatever it is they are afraid of. Something in our brains tells us that if we are alone no one can hurt us, when we all know that sometimes being alone is just as painful.
     Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we suffer through countless weekends without plans, events spent standing awkwardly alone, and silence?
     If you're like me, the thought of putting yourself out there is terrifying. It seems that I can only truly talk to a stranger when one of my best friends is around, and even then the situation is iffy. I'm the kind of person who will not engage you in conversation, and as sorry as I am for it, I will need you to do it. I don't want to be that person.
     It's just another one of those things that I'm trying to change, but the process is slow.

Walmart Haul

After an entire life spent living with my mother who is actually nicknamed Wally for her abundance of times brought on trips and the amount of time we spend at the chain store, I have finally discovered the Walmart cheat code. I'm pretty certain I flailed when I discovered a section of the store that I had never considered before, but never-the-less I have found out how to spend even less money at the store.

If your family is anything like mine, you will or already have reached an age where you no longer receive palpable gifts on Christmas or your Birthday, but rather gift cards and money. This being the case, I end up with a few common gift cards. I tend to receive either an iTunes gift card, a Chic-Fil-A gift card (I really love the Jesus Chicken...), or a Walmart gift card. I know that a lot of my friends hate when they get Walmart cards, but I have no problem finding things I want. That being said, I recently received a belated birthday gift card from my Aunt and Uncle, and am pretty proud of how well I spent the $25.00 on the card and then the $25.00 I had in my wallet.

I continually read about people who were in love with these Color Whispers by Maybelline so I decided it was time for me to jump on the band wagon. I bought the colors Coral Ambition and Mad for Magenta at $5.94 each.

I had originally gone into the store with a coupon for $5.00 off two Cover Girl eye products and had every intention on using it, but for some reason the self checkout would not accept it. None the less, I decided to stick by the two items I had decided on.

The first was the Cover Girl Eye Enhancers 3-Kit Shadows in Golden Sunset. I really liked these colors and though it isn't as pigmented as I would like, they have a really nice summery feel to them. It ended up costing me $4.44.

The other half of the duo was this Cover Girl Line Exact liquid eyeliner. The last liquid eyeliner I bought was terrible so I'm really hoping this one does well. I like that it has the felt tip like the first one I ever bought. This ended up being $6.24.... Really could have used that coupon.

(Everything else got tested on my hand... hahaha)

Walmart was having a special on this brand of Nail Polish, Sinful Colors, and I was drawn in by there display... I tried to stay away but.... (Let's be honest I was drawn to that like a bee to a flower.) I did end up getting a good price on them, at only $2.97 each and I've been wearing them both for four days now and they have stayed on really well. I got the colors Mint Apple and Lavender.

 

 

I've been in desperate need of my own hairspray, I've been mooching off of my moms for years because I'm extremely lazy, so I figured it was time I got a can of my own. My mom used this brand a few years ago and I found that it works just as well as some of the better known, more expensive brands, for a fraction of the price. It was a mere $1.98. I'm huge supporter of Suave.

I cannot stay away from the clearance aisle at our Walmart. Usually I find some silly things like Rapunzel bracelets for my friend or some funny stickers, but this time I found some really cool headbands for a price that I love. These were just some simple headbands in silver, black, and blue for $1.00. 

I had actually been looking for those fake hair braid headband thingies (I only use the most technical terms on this blog) so when I found this bronze braided headband for $4.48 I thought it was a nice substitute.

I just really adore this butterfly headband and the silver one was just an added bonus. They were well worth $2.00 in my opinion.

The last of my headband extravaganza were these funky black beauties. I'm obsessed with neutrals and love adding a bit of edge to my outfits so these babies are the perfect addition to my collection. They only cost $2.00.

I've recently discovered that the clearance rack at my Walmart sometimes has clothes marked down to just a dollar.This Chambray dress is the perfect example. It was something I had been longing for and it was merely a dollar! Probably my favorite purchase of the day.

Green is one of the colors that I think suits me best, yet I had noticed recently that my wardrobe was lacking it, so I had been looking for opportunities to add it in. This cool tie dyed top fit the bill and was once again only $1.00.

 I'm in love with V-Necks and couldn't turn down the opportunity to buy this basic one for only $2.00. I've already paired it with my overalls and fake floral Dr. Martens.

This pair of blue shorts were again only $1.00 and they are long enough for me to wear them to school in the fall.

Whilst in the clearance aisle I also found this really cute floral bowl. I really can't turn much down when it's a bargain... This was $1.00.

My entire purchase ended up costing me $47.76!